LONG MAY YOU RUN | AUSTRALIA
There is a red light blinking at the tip of the plane’s wing that sits directly over my left shoulder. The blank minded stare from the back of my eyes seems to match my heartbeat to pulse of the flickering light. As the sun falls behind the clouds, a soft and empty feeling grazes my entire body. The depressants begin to soothe my chest, a slow-to-warm-up type of feeling. A fuzzy cloudiness seems to travel up through my legs, finally arriving right around my sternum. The anxiety reforms and then transcends into relaxation as I put a soft playlist together. A faint dizziness starts to take control, song selections are chosen at a faster pace. I know that that in a few moments time the drugs will fully take control and my consciousness will slowly fade. Several deep breaths later Neil Young’s “Long May You Run” begins to play and I return to the blinking red light slashing through the clouds. I mutter to myself, “this is going to be a hell flight.”
In the last moments of consciousness, a stream of reflection takes over. The fourteen day haze that is Australia plays back through my head. The smile that overwhelms my face could be a result of two opposing thoughts: A) “That was the best time I have ever had.” Or, B) “What did I just do to myself?”
From the warm surf of Byron Bay, to the vortex that is Bondi Beach, my split decision to break the bank and purchase a plane ticket two days before Christmas has proven to be worth it. For every miserable hour spent in the Los Angeles Federal building waiting on a expedited passport, there was a night of debauchery that turned new friends into what family. For every penny lost in purchasing a ticket only two days before departure, a life long memory was created. Taking a risk, blowing everything off, saying “fuck you”, proceeding with irrational thought, loosing yourself and choosing to do it all again are some things that my peers and I value. Living with no plan B, no backup plan while putting all of your eggs into one basket – It is just a better way to live.
The plane continues to soar through the dim lit sky, its a thirteen hour journey back to Los Angeles. With eyes shut, I fell asleep. There was only one song on the playlist, it was repeated five times.
